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| Well. Hell. Another driving lesson from ol' Rockzilla. If you are in freeway traffic, and you MUST dart from lane to lane for no reason other than just to do it, please follow these simple instructions: OK. Now, focus on your left hand. Yeah, take that left thumb out of your butt, or that left index finger out of your nose, and reach over to the LEFT side of the steering column. There. Feel that thing sticking out from the column? That is a TURN SIGNAL LEVER. Do not be frightened by it. It is your friend. Now if you want to swerve left, pull the lever down. Up for right. Don't worry about those flashing arrows on the dashboard. They are supposed to be there. Now you may go ahead and swerve. That lets us know that you are coming so that we can slam on our brakes. IF YOU DO NOT USE TURN SIGNALS, YOU ARE: 1.STUPID, 2. DANGEROUS, AND 3. A RUDE, SELF-CENTERED ASSHOLE. Merry Christmas. Well. Hell. You got past Thanksgiving and now your ready for that uncontrolled spending orgy that we used to know as Christmas. Christmas starts a couple of days BEFORE HALLOWEEN, when you start seeing the "Scream" masks marked 50% off and you see pallets of Christmas imports waiting to take their place. The whole sad scenario makes me sick. Advertisers and the media have convinced us that the day after Thaknsgiving is THE day to spend your money, and most have bought into the scam, feeling that they will miss being a part of something "special" if they do not participate. Cattle, sheep, shoppers... Well. Hell. For the past few days, I have watched with growing disgust the dark comedy being played out in Florida. Seems to me that, in effect, a group of Democrat appointed judges have overthrown the government. That lisping wax figure, Al Gore, assures us that all he wants is for the people's voice to be heard. God bless America, huh Al? There's so much CRAP, it is hard to wade through it all. I was not thrilled with either of the candidates(sorry Nader idiots, but your guy could NEVER be considered a serious candidate), but I hope now that GWB NEVER concedes this race. The footage of ballots being held up to the light, while some idiot savant vote counter tries to do a Vulcan mind meld with the voter to ascertain his "intent" is reason enough to never trust the "final count". You folks who voted for Al... Do you play the Texas Lottery? I used to, so don't feel too bad. I quit. I'm just a little smug about that, too. While I'm certainly not against gambling, there is something a little disturbing about the government being "The House". A government run lottery is in fact just another tax, and a tax paid by those least able to pay. True Story: I was working part time at a convenience store several years ago, and a lady comes in and lays $8, half in change, on the counter and tells me to give her 8 scratch off tickets. Her husband and 5 kids were out in the car, a 15 year old baby blue station wagon. She scratches off the tickets and they are all losers. Then, sadly, she says, "Well, the kids wanted to go to McDonald's and we didn't have enough money so Jimmy says to take what we got and play the lottery. That is our best chance. Oh, well, maybe next time." See. That's the problem. False hope. I was in Chicago once and went to Cabrini Greens, a large, gang-run, housing project. As you approached the neighborhood, there was a billboard advertising the Illinois State Lottery. It had a picture of a lottery ticket and simply said, "This could be your ticket out!" That's Big Evil. Since I was a kid, I have loved the State Fair of Texas. The sheer massiveness of the thing always seemed to reinforce the idea of the bigness of Texas. The Fair is still big, but it just ain't the same. The Amazing Turtle Man is long gone, along with the Snake Lady. They, you know, that sinister force that keeps changing things for the worse, they have cleaned up Fair Park. I walked through the midway, and never feared getting stabbed. There are police officers everywhere. The State fair is no doubt a hell of a lot safer than it used to be. It is also a hell of a lot more boring. And expensive. My wife and I spent $24 for bus fare and entrance to the fair. Once inside, we spent $40 on two sandwiches with fries, three cokes, a corn dog, a funnel cake, and three bottles of water. Plus she bought two t-shirts, at $10 each. That's $84 and we really didn't do that much. What if you had three or four kids that wanted to ride everything! Good Lord! Besides that, if it is the State fair of Texas, why in the hell are people like Kenny Chesney playing there? Why not Gary P. Nunn, or hell, Willie? Maybe next year. As I made my way home early this evening, fighting my way upstream in the midst of the choked, polluted river of foreign S.U.V.'s and moving vans that we in the Dallas area lovingly, and somewhat ironically refer to as Central Expressway, not daring to change lanes lest I set off the ticking time-bomb behind the wheel of the vehicle to my left rear, I thought of some recent posts on the Rockzillaworld e-groups list concerning KNON, 89.3 FM. Never taking my eyes off the bobbing and weaving brightly colored pieces of potential death that buzzed about my old truck, I reached for the button, the top left, and pressed it. For the next hour, everything was OK. I heard a fascinating story about the 1968 Olympics. I heard Kinky Friedman. Nobody has the balls to play Kinky Friedman, especially doing "Ride "em Jewboy" on the first day of Yom Kippur. I heard Music That Doesn't Suck. I looked up and I was almost home. The miles and time had magically swept past. Maybe there should be a new Official Radio Program of Rockzillaworld. Speaking of politics, is it just me or does anybody else feel that EVERYBODY nowadays is just looking for ways to manipulate everything and and everybody to suit their own needs? I get so sick of that crap! Generally, I'm not a fan of the "Musical Extravaganza", you know where a dozen acts play one big show, because I always feel overwhelmed by all the input. I much prefer to see one or maybe two acts. I must say, though, that if my work schedule would permit it, I'd probably go to Tommy Alverson's Family Gathering in Hico. Man, that's a lineup without a weak spot! Note for all aspiring musicians: Tune you damned guitars! Good God! You come out to play, wanting people to like your music, and you don't even tune up!? Also, do it before you step up to the mic. I don't want to watch you tune your guitar. Nobody else does either. That REALLY pisses me off! If you're going to get anybody to take you seriously, you have to show at least a little professionalism. NOTE TO ALL CLUBS: Keep the damned beer COLD! 33 degrees please! Does anybody else think that traffic conditions worsened here after Texas Motor Speedway opened? Think about that tomorrow morning on the way to work. | ||
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